Regret  RemusTonks
by TheElejahDiaries
Summary: What happens when Remus refuses to give in to Tonks and tell her that he loves her?   COMPLETE


"You _prat!_" she screamed. "Will you never get it through your thick, wolfy skull? _I LOVE YOU!_"

Remus shook his head, staring at his shoes. Before he could even retort, Tonks cut him off.

"I'm up here, not on your shoes!"

He sighed and looked into eyes, which, instead of being filled with tears, were narrowed with intense anger. He secretly hoped that she would become so angry with him that she would never want to see him again. But he thought it highly unlikely.

"Nympha-"

"Don't you dare!" she snarled.

Sigh. "Tonks," he said. "It can't happen! I'm too-"

"Save it, Remus! 'You're too _old, _too _poor, _too _dangerous'_! And I've said 'I don't care' as many times as you've said that! Why can't we just _try?_" she begged.

"Tonks, I _can't!_"

"Why, Remus, why? Aside from your silly reasons, why can't we?"

Remus knew the only way that he could stop her from berating him was to hurt her. As much as he knew it would hurt himself, it was worth it she would give up.

"Because I don't love you!"

Tonks backed away from Remus, her mouth hanging open. She desperately tried to ignore the prickling behind her eyes.

"You – you're lying," she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion.

He turned away from her, ignoring her accusation.

"You're lying!" she cried. "Remus, you're just saying that!" It sounded to Remus that she was trying to convince herself rather than accuse him.

He turned back around, staring at her stone-faced. He shook his head. "I'm not lying. I'd appreciate it if you left now." He gestured to the door leading out of his tiny flat.

She stood there for a moment – just a moment – and then walked out the door.

"And – and he said he didn't love me!" sobbed Tonks, leaning into to Molly, who was patting her on the back trying to soothe her.

"And I had to tell her I didn't love her," said Remus, banging his fist on the table he and Sirius were sitting at.

"I'm sorry, mate," said Sirius, looking at Remus with a sort of pity. "Don't hex me," he said, "but wouldn't it be easier and better for the both of you if you just admitted you love her and that you want her?"

"I thought you of all people would understand. Do you remember when I almost killed Snape?" snapped Remus. Sirius didn't answer. "I vowed then that I would never fall in love, because I wasn't going to kill anyone."

"Remus! You're making yourself miserable! You're far too kind for your own good – just let go for once in your life! You deserve to be happy, mate!" said Sirius, his head almost on the table, trying to make eye contact with Remus, who had his head in his hands.

Remus sat up suddenly, knocking over the chair he had been sitting on.

"I'll see you later," he called, already nearly out the door.

Sirius shook his head, his eyes following Remus out the door.

"Oh, Dora," said Molly.

"It's so unfair! He has to love me! If he didn't, why wouldn't he have told me sooner?" sniffled Tonks.

"I don't know, sweetheart... I don't know."

Tonks knew there was only one way to prove to Remus that they belonged together. She knew what she had to do. She didn't care who she hurt as long as Remus realized he loved her.

"Remus! Remus!" someone was knocking at his door. He flicked his wand from the couch where he lay and the door swung open. It was Sirius.

"What is it?" Remus asked uninterestedly.

"It's Tonks."

"What do you mean, 'It's Tonks'? I told you -"

"She's dead, Remus."

"Wh – wha – did someone Confund you, Sirius? Tonks isn't dead."

"Remus, she – Tonks killed herself," said Sirius, his eyes moist.

Remus saw the look in Sirius's eyes that told him this wasn't a lie. Remus stood up and sat back down.

"This is_ my _fault. I should have – I – why didn't I just _tell _her?" cried Remus. He let out a guttural cry that made Sirius's heart ache.

Remus stood up again and looked at Sirius. Remus looked sorrier than Sirius had ever seen him – and that included all the full moons he had seen Remus.

"Where is she?" Remus asked.

"At home."

And with that, Remus Disapparated.

"Why?" he cried, leaning over her unmoving body. Remus sobbed and punched the wall. "Why would you do something so _stupid?_"

Remus blamed himself completely for Tonks's death, and no one could convince him otherwise.

He gave in and screamed to her dead body. "I LOVED YOU! Are you happy now?" he cried, his tears dripping onto Tonks's cheek.

His life would never be the same without her.


End file.
